LOLCats = -LOL = Hatred++

The mere existence of LOLCats should show how this world is just falling apart. I'll admit that some cats can be funny like this:



And this (Please give time to load, it is worth it)

But the gratuitous use of misspelled words and and 3-year-old phrases really makes me want to vomit in rage rather than think that any part of it is cute. I don't blame the cats, just the cat owners.
You know that feeling you get when your mom/dad/guardian shows that picture of you taking a bath in a sink, or you wearing that blue leisure suit when you were only 3 and you had no control over anyone? Embarrassment. That's what every single cat in those pictures feel like 24/7 because their f'ing owner thinks it's cuuuuute. If you wake up one morning with your eye balls scratched out, I'll produce a small twinge of laughter and say "That's so cuuuuute. He maimed and disfigured you until your unrecognizable."

Note: cats WERE harmed in making of this post. Not really (unfortunately)

More To Come:
Taxes, Getting kicked in nuts, Stupid ass videos on the internet, Cell Phones, Stupid abbreviations, historical sites located in terrible neighborhoods, grocery shopping while on your cell phone (arguing about products), sports fanatics, old women who close YOUR window on the bus without asking, line-integrity police guy, people who say good morning when its clearly afternoon, mock crab, that fucking guy

O To The "Rescue"

I wanted to address a comment immediately.

Dear Abby- I've been married 57 years now, and I think my husband is cheating on me with the mailman. How can I be a better wife to him so he doesn't have to stray?
SPECIAL DELIVERY in Tuscon

Dear Special Delivery:
Thank you for the letter. You did say mailMAN ... right? There is nothing in this world that I find more disgusting than two sausages smacking together. Strangely enough I got the perfect gift for your husband. This is guaranteed to bring him back to you. Please see the email I received below:

Hi Everyone!

Just wanted to let you know the Meat Heart Bouquet is now available at BeefJerkybouquet.com, (where else?)

My web guy hasn't posted the new pic yet, so I thought I would give my A-listers first gander. (See attachment below)

Hope you like:) A lot of people have asked about this bouquet, so I just wanted to remind everyone I am still UPS ground ( I know, I know, slow poke girl) which means it is probably a good Idea to order at least a week ahead of time to guarantee on-time delivery. Well that's it. Thanks again for being a Jerky Head. It really means a lot to us here at Jerky Central.

XOXOXOX Happy Valentines Day (in three weeks)

Lou
BeefJerkybouquet.com
Say it with Meat!

Remember it is always best to "say it with meat!" Your husband will be so sick of "meat" in all forms, he'll come running back.
Moral of the story for the kids .... spam can sometimes be entertaining. Hold back your frustration and wait on that delete key.

More To Come:
Taxes, Getting kicked in nuts, Stupid ass videos on the internet, Cell Phones, Stupid abbreviations, LOLcats, historical sites located in terrible neighborhoods, grocery shopping while on your cell phone (arguing about products), sports fanatics, old women who close YOUR window on the bus without asking, line-integrity police guy, people who say good morning when its clearly afternoon, mock crab, that fucking guy

Audience Driven

I think I already strayed from the purpose of this blog. To insult all people. I want to make this blog somewhat audience driven. Give me a topic, and I'll go off about it. My email is oberg3@yahoo.com. Yes, I know that I inviting spam, and I don't really give a s!@#. And yes, I don't have a large audience at all, maybe 3 people. Thanks for insulting me. I want this blog to be a parallel to "Dear Abby", except I don't help with problems, I fuel the fire ... with a possible hint of help.

Future topics so I have them:
Taxes, Getting kicked in nuts, Stupid ass videos on the internet, Cell Phones

C U Soon.

Future topic supplemental:
Stupid abbreviations (i.e. the L33T language)