The Maiden Post

First of all, thanks to those of you reading this. If you don't understand the title of this blog and why I'm doing it, stop reading reading now, I don't need your business. Come to think of it, I really don't need anyone's business. This blog is for masturbatory purposes only. And keep your mind out of the gutter (I saw that). I am also not a ligician (linguistic magician), so no comments, otherwise I will rip you a new one on this very blog. Here we go:

Yesterday, my wife and I played in our 1 of 2 SLOW-PITCH co-ed softball leagues. Had a double-header, lost 1 and tied 1. That's ok, but here's what really bothers me: males that take walks in a slow-pitch softball league. The purpose of "slow-pitch" is that the ball is lobbed at you to "hit it". Not to watch it go by in the hopes that the non-professional softball pitcher will not hit the strike zone. The pitcher will NOT hit the strike zone 9 out of 10 times. That person has a real job that does not require him/her to place a ball in a 2x2 ft area from 40 ft away. It makes for a really boring game for one, and it makes me want to trip that person as they trot around the bases. I always have the overwhelming urge (in which I always indulge) to yell "Rec League !!" No one standing around this field is staking their life or money on this game in which most people are just trying to get the end so they can drink themselves silly at the bar. If you want to get walked, just stand at the plate with a slouched back, and the bat dangling off your shoulder, and wait ... for me to come over to you kick your a$$.

In 1 of the games yesterday, I got called out because of too many foul balls. Fine by me, they were all decent pitches. Not great or perfect, just decent. That's all I expect. But then when the pitcher of the other team walks to the plate, no f!@#$@ courtesy. He doesn't even look like he wants to hold the bat. Sad.

Now some of you may be saying, "He said males that take walks, not females!" Well, I did. If a female comes to bat looks more than capable of hitting the ball, then fine, I'll hate her too. Same goes the other way. If your capable, hit the ball. Statistics fall towards the male being better at hitting a ball in a recreational league in the middle of Michigan. If you don't like it, tell me ... and cover your groin area.

That's it for the first one. Hope you liked/hated it. Also if you have some good topics, let me know. Who knows, I may agree with you.